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And I'm just afraid of the guilt. And that guilt is holding me back from pushing her more physically too. So we're stuck at this physical/emotional barrier. And it's all my fault.And once I figured that out a few days ago, I know she noticed. I'm a bit withdrawn, and she can tell something's up. The guilt is good for one thing—I've thrown myself into fixing her house and helping her and Cat set up this baseball card auction.She's excited because it means she can really sink some money into the house. No more DIY project, but hiring a real electrician. She even hints at having me hire a few guys to work for me. I knows she's talking about investing in me starting my own contracting business. She even looked into me getting a contractor's license, and in Texas, it's as simple as filling out a form and sending in a fee.Of course, there's just one problem with that—my name isn't John James, it's Matthew Jonathan James. And most days it feels like the whole world is looking for me.. ” She stated, as she slapped me on the arm.I did not say a word, I just held her close to me for a while, then I whispered into her ear,” you know that you are still the most important person in my life, and I love you with all my heart.”She looked up to me with her eyes tearing over, and kissed me softly on the lips, “thank you for saying that, I have never doubted your love, and I do love you with every part of my body.” She said as she kissed me again on the lips.Just then Shaun started to stir, and wake up, and her mommy instincts kicked in, and she went to her son, and picked him up. Just watch them together, made feel proud to call her my wife. As I watched her play with Shaun, the phone rang. I reached over and picked it, and my mother said hello.I told her the good news that she was going to be a grandmother again, which made her happy.We chatted for a while and I told her that they should come out here for Christmas. They have not seen the house yet, and we have loads.
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